broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize