Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
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Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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