DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
