We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i need some magic done to my vagina
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize