Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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