Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
