I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Someone signed my nipple.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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