So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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