Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
