When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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