SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
