I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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