I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
