.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize