girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i think im in europe. pls send help