And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.