I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?