Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.