apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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