I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
