Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
