Where is the hickey?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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