): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
