So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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