I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
