you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
