It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
