I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
