Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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