he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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