Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
