somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
