Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
