I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
