It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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