OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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