I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
