Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Shame is for Republicans.
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