Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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