i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize