dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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