After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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