Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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