I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
