God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
