P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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