we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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