Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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