So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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