I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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