What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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