1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
