Its about making memories worth repressing
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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