All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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