You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
