i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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