we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
