Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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