just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
