no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
