The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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