she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he fucked my hip out of place.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize